It seems that being friends with boys isn't everything I thought it was or thought it was going to be. Recently 3 of my guy friends went and got....ugh....GIRLFRIENDS.
At first, being friends with boys provided some of the most stable and fun platonic relationships I've ever had, compared to most of the friendships I had with girls, which didn't turn out so well. Being friends with girls usually means constantly having to deal with issues like jealousy and in my experience it even went as far as being friends with two girls who turned out to be compulsive liars! It's also my feeling that I already have to deal with my issues as a woman, which I find tiring, so why in the hell would I want to deal with another girl's issues along with my own?!
So after having bad experiences with most past female friendships, I think anyone could understand why I opted out of befriending girls for a while, AND having a totally platonic friendship with a boy definitely has it's perks. You can really open up with a guy when you know there's no sexual attraction in the way, and jealousy is really never and issue. If it's completely clear that you bear no physical attraction to them in any way and they still want to be your friend, then you know that they enjoy your company and your personality and aren't just trying to get with you, so to speak. In my opinion this allows me to be myself more around boys then I ever could around most girls I've ever been friends with. So why all of the sudden has being friends with these boys took a turn for the worst? Well like I said, they all went and got girlfriends, and now that they're out of highschool they're taking these new relationships slightly more serious than they ever did before. Good for them for showing somes signs of maturity right?! Well if only men were good multitaskers =/
This is definitely a new experience for me but what I've learned so far is:
Once your guy friend goes and gets a serious girlfriend, you can kiss the good times goodbye. Sure you'll still be friends and have a good laugh now and then, but it definitely won't be anything close to what it was before. They have other priorties now, like keeping their girlfriends happy. And let's face it, if you've been friends with them for a while, you probably know them better than their girlfriends even do! Add this to the insecurities women already have, and the fact that maybe you yourself are a somewhat attractive woman, the new girlfiends aren't exactly going to be keen on their boyfriends hanging out with you as much as you feel is a normal amount. They're going to be keeping their men on that tight leash. We both know their girlfriends shouldn't even feel worried or jealous because it was a totally platonic friendship to begin with, but it's not all the girlfriends fault either. Boys can be pretty clueless when it comes to the mental wars we wage against them. Women are master manipulators. If you're smart you'll keep his heart in one hand and his balls in the other. ;)
So where are his priorties now? Not with you that's for sure. You'll be on the back burner for a while. He'll be so embossed in his new girlfriend that he might even lose all sense of common courtesy. Don't expect phone calls to be returned all the time...he's probably busy with his girl doing things you have no business or desire to know of or not answering your call in front of her for fear of questions she might ask about sed caller. Don't expect plans to be kept or rsvp'd because he'll want to keep days open for spending time with his new girlie.
It sucks on your end yeah, but you didn't drive those roots into the ground just to be torn up when the storm comes. Continue being the good friend you were, even if it's not going to be reciprocated on their end all of the time. All you can do is wait it out and show him that you'll be there when he needs someone to talk to, like when he finally realizes that his girlfriend is continuing to hang out with her male friends, but you and him hanging out has become a taboo subject, and he'll want to bring this up with his girlfriend and come to some sort of comprimise with her after much debate over whether or not you and him bear any sort of attraction to eachother. Lol well at least this what you can hope for. There's always the option of amusing yourself with a boy toy for a while or finding new friends! :) and at last, if all else fails, hang out with girls....lame! JK I do have a few really good female friends <33333 so it's not all bad,
BUT! I'm really gonna miss the crazy, fast, unsafe driving while I'm in the passenger seat, watching and making fun of movies with them, knowing exactly what they're thinking or going to say in a certain situation just because I know them so well, listening to them ramble about car parts and how to fix them and not knowing what the hell they're talking about, and making fun of other people's stupidity.
Well this is my life in text.
-Nelson
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